‘The Data on Daters’ – How do online daters talk about the apps they use?
Brief encounters or meaningful matches?
Imagine it’s 2007 and you announce to a room full of your friends that you’re dating someone from the internet. Their reaction would probably be one of shock and concern – are they a real person? Aren't they a complete weirdo? Is it safe? Why don’t you meet someone from the real world?
Now fast forward to 2017 and the scene is entirely different. A few of your friends are more likely to respond with their own tales of using dating apps. In fact, a quarter of people in the UK have at least one dating app installed on their phone. And with it, mentions of 'dating apps' are increasingly popular...
This shows the number of mentions of dating apps over the last month, with a spike in engagements on 13 May following the launch of Just a Baby – a Tinder-style app that matches you to a sperm donor or surrogate for those looking for baby rather than a hook-up. The news was picked up by the likes of the Evening Standard, Harpers Bazaar and Glamour, and re-tweeted by people.
So how did dating apps become normalised?
As soon as it launched in 2012, Tinder completely changed the tone of the conversation – building on what Grindr had been achieving within the gay community since 2009. Online dating went from being perceived as an obscure pastime for the lonely, to something that any single person armed with a smartphone could comfortably be swiping through while queuing in the supermarket, sat on the toilet or, somewhat depressingly, during a date.
As shown above with the darker squares, people tend to post about their experience on dating apps in the early evening, especially on Saturdays – perhaps just as they're engaging in a chat with a potential date that doesn't quite go according to plan.
There are now so many dating apps in the market, offering very minimal twists on Tinder and Grindr’s original models, it feels like we’re reaching the peak of online dating.
To understand where the tone of the dating app conversation is today, we set up a study on Pulsar TRAC tracking mentions of popular dating apps in the UK on Twitter over the last month. In total, we collected 25k mentions of Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, Happn, Grindr, Hinge, eHarmony, Match.com, Badoo and Ashley Madison.
The top keywords demonstrate how the apps that pioneered the dating app format – Tinder and Grindr – continue to lead the conversation that's dominated by talk of people's profiles, matching with someone, and going on dates.
There is a hub of discussion in London as the concept of online dating naturally resonates with fast-paced urbanites. Yet there are also online daters in the more rural Midlands and North West showing how ‘swiping right’ has permeated different sections of society.
As the original challenger in the online dating space, Tinder is still dominating the conversation, with a whopping 83% share of discussion in the UK in the last month. Next is Grindr with 14%, followed by OKCupid, Bumble and Badoo on around just 1% each.
So who’s sharing their online dating experiences with the internet and what are they saying?
Through Pulsar’s network visualisation we found that there are disparate communities talking about these apps with few connections between them.
You might expect a polarised network when people are talking about their different sexual preferences, but this explanation doesn’t hold when almost all of the apps we tracked (except for Grindr) are open to all sexual orientations.
It suggests the apps themselves have different types of followers and challenges the assumption that people might have multiple dating apps on their phone to maximise the potential for a date.
The good news for online dating companies is that their target audience could be distinguishing between the apps like brands offering different kinds of products – except in this the case the products are potential dates.
So, what perceptions and personalities do these dating apps have?
Tinder is still unmistakably the go-to hook-up app. As a result it’s been appropriated by the internet as a catchall reference for ‘struggling in your love life’. In true British self-deprecating style, mentions of Tinder tend to come with an embarrassing anecdote of a disaster interaction (or no response at all) on the app.
https://twitter.com/sadneck/status/862310720737869825
By contrast, posts about Grindr tend to reference creepy interactions and general disappointment with who they find on the app – particularly for those looking for a relationship and not a casual hook-up.
https://twitter.com/kriscarter12_/status/866389795941076992
https://twitter.com/allthingstoney/status/861781260158599168
https://twitter.com/avidfan10/status/866770973193904132
OKCupid, on the other hand, has a reputation for being dominated by pseudo-intellectual males. While some view them as marriage material, others see right through the pretence.
https://twitter.com/jo_bazz/status/864552421997072385
https://twitter.com/lolFurby/status/859461968838762496
Daters believe that most of the ‘talent’ from Tinder have moved over to Bumble. But it’s also perceived to be more middle class and white.
https://twitter.com/l0ubear/status/866564541827731456
https://twitter.com/Julie_Hermans89/status/859890958820929536
https://twitter.com/jontweetshere/status/863827172397600769
Although the apps might have distinct brand perceptions attracting different types of users, there are still serial daters out there who drift between multiple services.
But this can come at a price – specifically when you forget which app you’re using. While swiping up on Bumble lets you view more pictures on a profile, the same action on Tinder sends the person a “Super Like” – not ideal if you’re trying to play it cool.
https://twitter.com/xsuzipaloozix/status/867154460082147331
https://twitter.com/Smile_Hannah/status/863382231976423425
https://twitter.com/TJRPayne/status/857736282037989377
We may have lifted the lid on online dating and taken a peek at the world of digital hooking up, getting rejected and generally being freaked out. But what we haven’t found are posts from people developing a meaningful relationship through the apps – or even going on a string of enjoyable dates.
This may have more to do with the lingering stigma attached to online dating and people not wanting to broadcast to their friends that they met their partner through an app. After all if there’s one thing that connects most dating apps, it’s their association with casual hooking-up.
Yet online daters still admit they use these apps to find meaningful relationships – but just cannot find them.
So while these apps are sure to continue being a feature of modern dating into the future, they are still more about casual hooking-up than finding the one.
